Wednesday, May 4, 2016

PEST CONTROL IN 2016

You discover that your house is infested with pests and vermin. You know that if you don’t act, the foundation will be destroyed and the structure will come tumbling down. You set about looking for a solution. A cursory investigation shows many options available to deal with your situation.

The first number you call turns out to be Bernie’s Best Socialistic System, or double B double S also known as BBSS, or just BS for short. The operator advises you that what you call vermin and pests are really just alternative species who have just as much right to life as you do. The fact that these species have decided to make your home their home is their right. To cause them any harm or discomfort would be wrong on so many levels. BBSS recommends that you just learn to live with them until they destroy your home and then move outside and live as nature intended, in the trees and mountains. That way everybody can just get along and live “socially.”

The next number on the list of solutions is Hillary’s Youth Patrol for the Environment or HYPE for short. Their operator starts with the company slogan, “Trust us, we never lie. What you call pests and vermin are just misguided individuals who can be reasoned with. Instead of deporting these lovable critters who just want the opportunity that you have had to make a living and feed their growing families, we should start a dialogue. We should negotiate with them and see to it that a non-violent solution can be reached. Then when your home comes tumbling down remember that it was probably your fault for building in an area they wanted. They had every right to bring their diseases and destruction into your home because as an American citizen you are just selfish. Believe it because we never lie, wink wink.”

So, in a quandary, you continue to look for a solution to your problem. The final listing on the Yellow Pages is Deport Or Nail Aliens and Lowlife Drug Smugglers, or “DONALD’S.” Their operator is emphatic. Vermin and pests are just that, vermin and pests. They don’t belong in your house. You didn’t invite them in and they refuse to leave. If you don’t act and act quickly, they will gnaw at the foundation of your house until it is destroyed. They will continue to reproduce thereby creating millions more of their kind to destroy not only your house but your neighbor’s as well. Here at DONALD’S we have a special treatment that denies these pests and vermin food or opportunity. It’s called “E-Verification of Citizenship.” We don’t even have to kill them. They leave on their own because they find the living conditions intolerable. They go scrambling back to where they came from. Then DONALD’S builds a wall to prevent them from ever returning. At that point you can rebuild your home strengthened in the knowledge that future visitors will be here only by invitation.”

So, these are your choices. Be socially responsible and leave them alone to continue on their destructive path, start a dialogue with them in the hope that they will leave your house alone in favor of finding another way to feed themselves and their families, or just send them packing. Being a fair minded individual I believe you will make the right decision. The home you save may be your own, as well as everyone else's. It is BS, HYPE, or DONALD’S. Seems simple enough to me.

Ron Scarbro

7 comments:

Mike Query said...

Thanks, Ron. 36 hours before my surgery you provided my laugh for the day! Who could of known that this late in my life there would be an election where there is no one to vote for. The republican's could put up a jack ass and I --- oh wait, they already have--- and I might be forced to vote for the ass because I am surely not voting for horrendous Hillary. Or BS. Doesn't leave much does it. Still enjoying your articles. Keep up the good work.

Mikey Q

John Uphoff said...

Unless you're Native American you and/or your ancestors were once the vermin to which you refer. You are an ignorant asshat!

John Uphoff said...

Unless you're Native American you and/or your ancestors were once the vermin to which you refer. You are an ignorant asshat!

Juliet said...

Wow. Human beings are never vermin. Not all problems (or even most problems) in our country are caused by immigrants. You are giving the terrorists recruitment material.

Jwo- said...

'Asshat Uphoff' & Juliet: Its called an 'analogy'...focus. And YES...there are DEFINITELY people who are vermin (Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, NAZI's, murderer-rapist, child molesters, etc...believe me, I could go on and on)!! And I agree re: immigrants...most problems in our country ARE CAUSED BY LIBERALS AND THEIR IDEOLOGIES!! The remaining problems MOSTLY have immigrant fingerprints. Suck on these FACTS published recently in the L.A. Times...these stats are coming to a neighborhood near you, if we keep listening to/following your collective stupidity:
1. 40% of all workers in L.A. County (L.A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.

(Donald Trump was right)

2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens. (How can that be? Poor innocent darlings...bless their hearts!)

3. 75% of people on the MOST WANTED LIST in Los Angeles are illegal aliens. (I'm sure you think they're just mis-understood!)

4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by TAXPAYERS. (Let me guess...'Asshat Uphoff' & Juliet are OK with this?)

5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are MEXICAN NATIONALS HERE ILLEGALLY. (Gotta be another Right-wing Conspiracy!)

6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages. (I know, I know...they're all mechanics!)

7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border. (Those lyin' FBI-ers...when will they stop fibbing? 1st its the illegal aliens...now its honest, capable Hillerbitch...when will it stop??)

8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal. (Yup!)

9. 21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking. (Is any of this sinking into your publicly educated, liberal-programmed, non-thinking void of a brainpan??)

10. In L.A County, 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish. There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County.)

(All 10 of the above facts were published in the Los Angeles Times)

And Juliet...Jesus-jumped-up-palomino...terrorists don't need recruiting material!! They hate us ideologically. We're the infidels...HELLO!!! Do you really think there's an ISSI recruiter sitting across a family table in Syria saying, "So you see, Mr. Ackmed, Americans inaccurately disparage Mexican illegals and therefore we need you to strap this bomb on your chest and kill them Patriots!" (Geez!) And 'Asshat Uphoff'..Neanderthal Man, Peking Man and all other extinct peoples have a question..."Gee...where were ya?"

The sheer simple-mindedness of both your perspectives amaze me! Of all your Daddy's sperm, I can't believe that YOURS swam the fastest!!! My 3-month, pre-natal niece has more of a grasp on history and reality than you two!

Jwo-

Juliet said...

You're absolutely right. Thanks for your well-reasoned comments. And I never knew what an analogy was. Thank you for introducing me to that important concept. Now that you've called me names and insulted my intelligence, I do believe that literally building a wall will prevent Spanish radio stations and murder from causing the decay of our country.

Jwo- said...

Your welcome! Although your attempt at humor does not mask your inability to intelligently respond to any point except radio stations and 'murder' (sadly, a crime endemic to all society that has lost its way). I surmise you probably never had or knew 'a way' so you can't understand the concepts of responsibility, consequences, the generational impacts and toxicity of Liberal programs and their deleterious effects on culture, especially minorities. It is your way of thinking, Juliet...its not just wrong but wrong headed! Watch this and learn...maybe...for the FIRST time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUSRZo1BE5o

The Left supporting 'no borders' is a sham...its against America and throws us all under the bus, just to keep these social criminals in office, so they can live a life of leisure ON OUR BACKS! Building a wall, enforcing our sovereign borders (you know...our LAWS!) and suspending Muslim incursion until we can vette those entering the country probably has you in a tither. "Streaming illegals" IS WRONG, JULIET!!! Don't you get that? I didn't insult your intelligence...I just held it up to the light...you insulted the definition of intelligence when you chose to ignore common sense and rational thought for Liberal ideologies! I can't take credit for that...its all on you. What separates us from a guard dog is a brain! Streaming illegals...you know...NOT LEGAL(!!!)...has no benefits to this country...NONE! Legal immigration...you know...WITHIN THE LAW...benefits our country, our gene-pool and our collective efforts. Legal immigration effectively incorporates outsiders into our country, our moral fiber, our responsibilities, our history, our bonding together as Americans, our group dependence on one another and our consequences.

One must 'think' in life, Juliet...not just 'feel'! I'm not advocating Republicans because they're all complicit (Left, Right & media). We need to clean house and we need 'THINKERS' TO GET IT DONE! Your naiveté objecting to some people being referenced as vermin & pests gets folks like you killed daily, as you refuse to recognize evil & malicious intent, within your Liberal "why can't we all just get along and live in a borderless world" obama(spit!)/clinton(spit!)/kerry(spit!) global bullcrap! I may disagree vehemently with your stance but would not like to see evil befall you.

Here's another nugget for you...only 10% of Millennial's self identify as Capitalist. How scary is that? Education must be revamped and sent back to the States! Education as a vertical is a Socialist entity, teaching (programming) Socialism to our kids. WAKE UP, AMERICA!

'NO CHARGE!'

Jwo-