WHAT IS THAT NOISE?

So I sat down to write my new column. As I contemplated the great issues of the Nation and the world and how I could shed light on them, my editor/wife said that lately I had been writing nothing but political columns. She opined that I should consider something lighter with humor and less politics for a change. I proceeded to inform her as to who was the writer in this house and that I would pick the topics that I would write about when all of a sudden I heard the noise. It sounded something like Blackhawk helicopters were about to bombard our little condo. It wasn’t a new sound. No, I hear it every week. It always is loud and quite disturbing. The sound was leaf blowers.

Now we’ve all heard them before, but not like here on St. Simons Island. Everybody hires their landscaping work done and all the services use these wretched little machines.

Those of you who know me know that I am a modern guy and appreciate the new appliances that make life easier, but this noise is just ridiculous. And that is not the whole story. We moved here to this island last June and every week they come and blow the leaves away. But, and here’s the mystery, they don’t ever pick them up. The next day the wind just puts the leaves back where they came from. I have come to believe that the leaves that I see in my back yard are hundreds of years old. They have been moved from place to place over the years. Prior to the invention of leaf blowers Nature took care of the problem. Now man has come to the rescue of the wind.

Fortunately these trees do not shed that many leaves. These leaves that are being blown around have probably been in the rotation for eons.

My question is, is this just a way to insure there will be work for each succeeding week? If they actually picked the leaves up and took them away would they not have a job the next week? There would still be bushes to trim and grass to cut, but this happens all over the island so I know I am not alone. As of this date, I have never seen any gardener actually remove any leaves.

I have decided that I am just going to ask one of them why they never actually pick up leaves. All I have to do is find a translator to help me with the questioning and I am sure they will be able to shed (pardon the pun) some light on this problem. Until then I will just have to accept the fact of leaf blowers and the ensuing noise. Besides, it is normally too quiet on this island anyway.

Ron Scarbro October 31, 2011