MAKING CHICKEN SALAD

If you are a Democrat involved with the responsibility of electing and reelecting Democrats in 2020, last Friday was a very bad day for you. You got a triple dose of bad news. Oh, it was great news for the country, but very bad news for the Democrat Party. The economy grew at the rate of 3.2%, unemployment fell to a decades low of 3.6%, and wages increased at a rate of 3.2%, and the stock market continues to explode upward. It can’t get much uglier for the Democrats.

So, what to do. You call a meeting of the best thinkers and spin doctors in your party to come up with spin and “talking points” to help explain away these gains for America. I can see it now. The meeting comes to order and you have the floor. You all know that for the past eight years under Obama, we advanced the theory that the American people were just going to have to get used to a stagnant economy. We told them manufacturing jobs were never coming back. Mediocrity would be the new normal. We told them that candidate Trump would have to have a magic wand to change things. I thought we had everybody convinced and then sadly, Trump won.

He put forward policies that we have never tried in modern times. He reduced taxes. He eliminated onerous regulations on business. He basically wiped out years of Democrat thinking. He cut loose the ingenuity of the American people and they have prospered like never before. He is renegotiating trade agreements that we said would never work, but they seem to be working. He has made us Democrats look like a bunch of idiots. What are we going to do? And he has done all this while under a relentless all-out attack by our entire party with the help of the mainstream media and our allies in Hollywood.

Those gathered in the meeting began shifting their feet and getting even more uncomfortable. They replied, we’ve done everything we know to do. We have accused Trump of every crime we could come up with. We spied on his campaign. We leaked phony information and got warrants from FISA courts using lies and unproven data. We have had him under investigation since he first came into office and it hasn’t worked. Some of us are beginning to think that maybe, God forbid, we got it wrong and they were right all along. Maybe free enterprise and self- responsibility really do work. Maybe allowing actual self-governing is superior to government controls over everything. Wow, who would have believed that?

Nonsense, came the roar from the assembled meeting. We just have to double and triple down on our accusations. The media will publish anything we tell them. It is just a matter of time. After all, we don’t have anything else. All we can offer is more Democrat policy with tax increases, and more regulation.

Or we could just lie. Did you hear Bernie? Right after the numbers came out he told his audience that normal everyday people will not benefit from this economy. I know what he said was stupid, but some of his people believe him. So we have to lie.  Lie about the numbers. Lie about the economy. We have to make people understand that mediocrity isn’t all that bad. They need to understand that all that extra money they have should actually go to the government so the Democrats can spend it. After all that message has worked in the past.

We also need to continue in our fight to challenge any state that requires voter ID. If a voter has to prove they are alive, legitimate, and who they say they are, we’ll never win an election.

Our message has worked in the past so there is no reason to think it won’t work in 2020. In other words, we have to make chicken salad out of chicken s...!

Ron Scarbro